• What Do Steps, Bottle Feeding, and Grades Have in Common?: The Stress Caused by Tracking

    Do you remember the time before we counted steps, when going out for some fresh air and exercise was the goal in and of itself? Then we started hearing about taking 10,000 steps per day to maintain a healthy body. And now some people “have to get their steps in” every day, though there is not a consensus that 10,000 is a “magic number” (see, for example, Tudor-Locke et al., 2011). When babies are breastfed, they eat as much as they eat and parents and doctors don’t even know how much it is per meal. When we bottle feed, we measure the ounces, monitor their intake, and fret over whether…

  • Working with a Bully

    7 Strategies to Help Your Child When They Are a Bully Imagine getting a call telling you that your child is being bullied. So hard. Now imagine that you receive a call from your child’s school saying that YOUR CHILD is bullying others. Perhaps even worse! When you receive that call saying that your child is engaging in bullying, you should believe it, and then work to understand why your child is acting this way and map out a plan to help. Most parents think their kids behave admirably and wouldn’t engage in behavior that harms other children (at least we hope so). When their parents are present, children may…

  • So You Want to go Out to Dinner as a Family

    You used to love going out to eat. You know relationships change once kids come along (Doss & Rhoades, 2017). You’ve managed some date nights since then. You lined up the babysitter and went to your favorite spots. You had a nice meal and tried not to worry about what potential chaos would be waiting for you when you got home. Wouldn’t it be great to go out together as a family? Well…maybe not so much. Looking back at the first attempted family night out, what didn’t go wrong? When you tried to visit that new Indian spot down the street, none of the kids liked the options on the…

  • The Perils of Having a Perfect Parent

    Who would have thought that having a “perfect parent” would be a liability? And, if you doubt that there is such a thing as a perfect parent, so did I until I met her! In the group practice where I worked as an early career child psychologist, we had a weekly team meeting where we discussed new referrals. I was assigned a teen girl whose presenting problem was that her mother was “too perfect.” There was raucous laughter in this usually dour meeting where major mental illness, depression, and trauma were the regular fare. “What’s the real problem?” My colleagues asked. They suspected we would uncover something truly awful upon…